Megan Devine tragically lost her beloved partner. Her experience with grief, along with her work as a therapist, led Megan to develop a new approach to grief support.
There are so many powerful messages in this heartfelt and honest account of Megan’s experience with grief. Essentially, Megan explains how as a society, we don’t really do all that well when it comes to grief support. Many people feel uncomfortable around grief and don’t know what to say or do to support loved ones experiencing profound grief. Megan encourages us to talk about grief more, share our honest experiences as a way to bring the reality of grief to light and help us improve how we do grief support.
It’s quite common for people who are grieving to be faced with questions, comments and judgements about whether they are “still” grieving and whether they’ve “moved on”. Sometimes, the words people say to comfort a grieving person can unintentionally be unsupportive. For example, platitudes that begin with the words “at least” (eg; “at least you got to say goodbye” or “at least you had many happy years together”) can lead to the bereaved person feeling as though the magnitude of what they are feeling is wrong in some way.
Megan also discusses how traditional approaches to grief (such as the five-stage model by Kubler-Ross) have implied that grief has a set process which the bereaved person should work through in order to reach “acceptance” and move on with their lives. (I’m going to discuss the problems with this stage approach in another blog.) Megan proposes, “the new model of grief is not in cleaning it up and making it go away; it’s in finding new and beautiful ways to inhabit what hurts”.
Megan’s book also offers some great suggestions for how grieving people can care for themselves as they navigate the various effects that grief has on their lives, as well as ideas for how to support a loved one who is grieving.
I recently contributed to this amazing list of books on Trauma Warriors, so check it out for more great book recommendations from other therapists - 31 Life Changing Self Help Books for Women
I highly recommend this book to you if you are grieving or would like to become more aware and skilled about supporting others through grief. As a grief counsellor, I strongly resonate with Megan’s approach and I’m committed to creating a compassionate and non-judgemental space for you to be with your grief in an honest and unfiltered way. To schedule a session, visit www.griefspace.com.au or send me an email with any questions michelle@griefspace.com.au I look forward to supporting you in your grief journey.
Michelle Marazakis - Counsellor
Grief Space
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