When your role isn't well known yet...

As I sat by my sister's bedside during her illness and end of life journey, I knew something inside me was changing. I wouldn't be the same again. Yes, there was overwhelming grief and sadness. And also, beneath that, a knowing that I would one day offer my presence to others who were travelling home. I didn't yet know this role had a name as no one had ever mentioned an "end of life doula" to me.

I understood the role of birth doula and had stepped into that role for friends in the past. But not one person or service that I came across during my time caring for my sister mentioned the role of death doula to us as an option to consider for additional support.

The role of death doula isn't yet recognised formally by the medical system so you probably won't see a flyer for your local death doula on the waiting room noticeboard. You may have palliative care support services provided via the mainstream medical system. The system may give you a phone number to call if you have any questions about how to care for your loved one during the night. A social worker may visit you and your loved one in your home or hospital room to check on your wellbeing.

This type of clinical support is essential, valuable and much needed. And yet... there is more support available and these days I just want to shout from the rooftops "have you considered engaging an end of life doula?" so that everyone navigating an end of life journey for themselves or their person knows about this option. Consistant support from the same person across the full journey from diagnosis, treatment to palliative care and end of life. Someone who is there for all parts of the experience to listen, hold space, provide guidance and share your options with you in a non judgemental, compassionate way.

An end of life / death doula doesn't provide medical support, we aren't here to advise you on medications or treatments. We provide emotional, practical and spiritual support which is invaluable and has the potential to make all the difference in how you journey through this chapter. If you wish to die at home instead of in the hospital system, we can help make that possible in many instances. If your goal is to invite in a peaceful death which will help you transition in an empowered way and ease the pain and worry of your loved ones, we are here for you.

This role is a calling for us, we want to be there for you and with you, walking alongside you. Compassionate, skilled and caring end of life support. If you have someone in your life who may benefit from engaging a death doula, please share this post with them. They may have never heard of the role and until such time that the flyers are up on the doctors waiting room noticeboard, it's up to us to spread the word. Michelle xx